Crossroads: Life Changers Big And Small

Crossroads are more common than we realize. They can occur by chance, accident, or on purpose. Some require little in the way of change while other crossroads are major events that may require a significant change in the core perceptions and routines of our daily lives. The most useful definition of a  crossroads is that of a turning point. the direction of one's life may be altered significantly leading to many important adaptions that may create a change of how we define ourselves and how others see us and like or dislike us.

Kinds Of Crossroads

1. There are crossroads that develop because of a change in the way you think of your habits and behaviors. An example: Last year Donna talked of her concerns about out diet. She wanted to mostly eliminate my habit of barbecuing beef, pork and chicken as a main course for dinner. So, at her strong request, we routinely prepared turkey, chicken breasts and fish for dinner, avoiding other high fat meats. My adaptation was to give up steaks and such delights at home, but steaks remained my first choice when eating out. There was the loss of the great flavors of the BBQ habit but in January my doctor pointed out that my cholesterol levels had improved and Donna lost the 6 pounds that she quarreled about. I was not working on my cholesterol levels but my doctor was pleased. There is something about making your doctor happy.

This is the sort of crossroads that comes about as a result of thinking and awareness. The changes may occur on a gradual, logical basis. Through treating the diet issue as a crossroads, we changed some habits that became health benefits. I gave up many of the tasty BBQ flavored foods that I had learned to make over the years. Compromise!

2. There are crossroads that develop suddenly, unexpectedly because of an accident. We used to have two automobiles until last year when Donna hit a large deer at a high freeway speed. The car was totaled and Donna required many visits to the chiropractor to work out some back spasms. Another consequence is that now we have only one auto. We were spoiled with the convenience of a two-car availability. We decided to wait awhile to replace the totaled car and get by with just one auto. It has been well over a year and we might buy one some day, but have not yet done so. The consequence of this crossroads is that we found a rather easy adaptation to having just one car and the savings of not having a second car. The loss: having the convenience of 2 autos. The gain: thousands of dollars of dollars in expenses and more room in the garage for other things.

This sort of crossroads that develops from an accident usually requires an immediate response. The changes necessary may require immediate action. In this example, Donna's collision with a deer caused her to temporarily cancel her trip to see her family. She also experienced many weeks of discomfort in her back until the spasms were healed. The realization that we needed one auto was good for our transportation budget, an unexpected positive consequence of the crossroads. Now Donna rents a car if she wants to go see her family or gets a ride from a friend going the same direction.

3. There are crossroads that develop due to the conscious or unconscious behavior of the person or persons that are centrally involved. The person most involved in the crossroads often creates the crossroads and he or she is the one most powerfully affected by the consequences. At times such a person does not even realize he or she is the creator of the crisis that develops. More and varied examples will be shared in a later blog.